I bought a wifi router in which to
insert my internet modem keyblade…. So I am connected a lot more often. Which
is strange, still, in all of its omniscient glory. Technology. Righteous. Moving on...
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| Gonzalo Vasquez |
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| Ustupu, Guna Yala |
Hills. Panama has a ton of hills. Green mountains, covered in life,
surrounded by blue. Hills, what those
who live in the deeper south call lomas, can
be a serious pain in the nalgas, but they are lovely to look at and really give
you a nice perspective on things. Una Loma
is like that sweet yet unreadable girl you were crushing on in college. The one with dark hair, brown skin, soft
curves, and a book in her hand? That one.
I’ve been tripping up and down hills, on adventures through
the jungle by car or foot to get to both oceans, trying to get projects off the
ground at the school, through personal relationships and encounters, and in my
own internal, spiritual journey through life. I have less than a year left of
my service, rolling like a stone on the downslope.
And no, I still don’t really have any bloody clue about what
is going on.
But I know more.
I know how to communicate with people who speak different
languages than me.
Connect. Adapt.
How to roll around in reggae-blasting Diablo Rojo school
buses just like a muchacho.
How abundantly beautiful and bonkers carnival is in the
Azuero.
That youth camps rule.
The Pacific and Caribe. Ambos
mares.
That despite all the cutting and burning, the jungle fights
back.
How to dance with Guna Dulei and earn the chicha brava.
What friendship, family, hospitality and generosity are.
English makes no fucking sense. My English especially makes
no fucking sense.
I know how to live and be happy in a foreign place.
Peace comes in glimpses. I try to find peace through
cultivating patience. My relationships in the school community have greatly
improved, through time and patience. I have a network of friends in the school
and in the community, which helps with finding purpose. I feel comfortable.
Integrated. I find peace by practicing yoga, playing guitar, reading, walking
in nature, and having honest, human conversations.
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| Playa Jesus, Darien |
For Semana Santa this past weekend, I went with members of
my host family to Playa Jesus (how ‘bout that) on the Pacific Coast. We
travelled 4 hours down a dusty dirty road, up and down hills, passing jungle
and hundreds of hectares of cow pastures. The beach is pristine, practically
untouched by man. A fresh river runs
from the jungle and connects with the sea. Wandering up and down the coast, climbing
rocks, admiring nature’s wonder, beauty, power, relaxing in the hamaca in the
campsite, I found glimpses of peace.
Hiking northbound for Kuna Yala in February to celebrate
their independence holiday on la Isla Ustupu was an incredible, other-worldly experience;
a definite highlight of my time here. I
found peace walking through the jungle, sleeping under the stars on a sandy
riverside in the Darién, wandering through the elaborate labyrinth of
traditional Kuna huts on the island, dancing and laughing with my compañeros
and Kuna friends in the Casa de Chicha. Glimpses.
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| GUNA CHICHA GROOVE |
(I also know that the Kuna love Paul Simon. When we were
hanging out on Ustupu, they had pan-flute renditions of "El Condor Pasa" and
"The Sound of Silence" on loop. How cool is that?)
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| So much bliss in the Casa de Chicha, partying with the second shortest humans in the world. Huge smiles, bigger hearts. 3 jugs of the mystical concoction of fermented sugar cane and cacao, finished well before noon. |
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| Yes, I have a swastika on my forehead.The swastika dates back way further than the bastards who hijacked it in Europe in the 20th century. It existed independently in the Americas as well. For the Guna, it represents their creation story and symbolizes the universe and its cycles and expansion. |
I try to embrace these peaceful moments, but wake up the
next day only to start the same struggle again.
Every encounter and experience can show you the universe. It
can bend time in the present, connect you with your past, and change the
future. My time here has been filled with these moments. I recently started having
English conversation drop-ins at a local restaurant, and although attendance has
been inconsistent and well, low, the honest and open conversations about
family, traveling, dreams and desires have been invigorating and positive.
Meeting and connecting with different people is like looking in a mirror and
seeing the million possibilities of who you could be, which direction you want to
go, where you will end up. These encounters can also help remind you who you
don’t want to be.
Last month, I met two fascinating travelers who randomly
found their way to my host-family’s place in Torti. A Frenchman named Irene who
was in the area for a few weeks and a Mexican-American named Tahnia who stopped
briefly in town before attempting to cross the Darien Gap. Free-spirits
traveling with very small budgets, trying to get to Colombia and explore South
America. I feel quite free most of the time here, but I really admire their energy,
adventurousness, and absolute freedom. Such strong connections in such a random
and small place and time. I wish them well on their individual quests and pray for
their safety.
I hope you all are having amazing encounters and chats, and
that you are finding glimpses of peace every day. Peace is never complete or
constant, but becomes easier and more common with practice.
Paz y abrazos grandes
