Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Mas que la mitad


I bought a wifi router in which to insert my internet modem keyblade…. So I am connected a lot more often. Which is strange, still, in all of its omniscient glory. Technology.  Righteous. Moving on...
 

Gonzalo Vasquez

  

 
Ustupu, Guna Yala

  Hills. Panama has a ton of hills. Green mountains, covered in life, surrounded by blue.  Hills, what those who live in the deeper south call lomas, can be a serious pain in the nalgas, but they are lovely to look at and really give you a nice perspective on things. Una Loma is like that sweet yet unreadable girl you were crushing on in college.  The one with dark hair, brown skin, soft curves, and a book in her hand? That one.

I’ve been tripping up and down hills, on adventures through the jungle by car or foot to get to both oceans, trying to get projects off the ground at the school, through personal relationships and encounters, and in my own internal, spiritual journey through life. I have less than a year left of my service, rolling like a stone on the downslope.

And no, I still don’t really have any bloody clue about what is going on.

But I know more.

I know how to communicate with people who speak different languages than me.

Connect. Adapt.

How to roll around in reggae-blasting Diablo Rojo school buses just like a muchacho.

How abundantly beautiful and bonkers carnival is in the Azuero.

That youth camps rule.

The Pacific and Caribe. Ambos mares.

That despite all the cutting and burning, the jungle fights back.

How to dance with Guna Dulei and earn the chicha brava.

What friendship, family, hospitality and generosity are.

English makes no fucking sense. My English especially makes no fucking sense.

I know how to live and be happy in a foreign place.

Peace comes in glimpses. I try to find peace through cultivating patience. My relationships in the school community have greatly improved, through time and patience. I have a network of friends in the school and in the community, which helps with finding purpose. I feel comfortable. Integrated. I find peace by practicing yoga, playing guitar, reading, walking in nature, and having honest, human conversations.


Playa Jesus, Darien
For Semana Santa this past weekend, I went with members of my host family to Playa Jesus (how ‘bout that) on the Pacific Coast. We travelled 4 hours down a dusty dirty road, up and down hills, passing jungle and hundreds of hectares of cow pastures. The beach is pristine, practically untouched by man.  A fresh river runs from the jungle and connects with the sea. Wandering up and down the coast, climbing rocks, admiring nature’s wonder, beauty, power, relaxing in the hamaca in the campsite, I found glimpses of peace.
 


Hiking northbound for Kuna Yala in February to celebrate their independence holiday on la Isla Ustupu was an incredible, other-worldly experience; a definite highlight of my time here.  I found peace walking through the jungle, sleeping under the stars on a sandy riverside in the Darién, wandering through the elaborate labyrinth of traditional Kuna huts on the island, dancing and laughing with my compañeros and Kuna friends in the Casa de Chicha. Glimpses.


GUNA CHICHA GROOVE

(I also know that the Kuna love Paul Simon. When we were hanging out on Ustupu, they had pan-flute renditions of "El Condor Pasa" and "The Sound of Silence" on loop. How cool is that?)
 

So much bliss in the Casa de Chicha, partying with the second shortest humans in the world. Huge smiles, bigger hearts.
3 jugs of the mystical concoction of fermented sugar cane and cacao, finished well before noon.

Yes, I have a swastika on my forehead.The swastika dates back way further than the bastards who hijacked it in Europe in the 20th century. It existed independently in the Americas as well. For the Guna, it represents their creation story and symbolizes the universe and its cycles and expansion.

I try to embrace these peaceful moments, but wake up the next day only to start the same struggle again.  

Every encounter and experience can show you the universe. It can bend time in the present, connect you with your past, and change the future. My time here has been filled with these moments. I recently started having English conversation drop-ins at a local restaurant, and although attendance has been inconsistent and well, low, the honest and open conversations about family, traveling, dreams and desires have been invigorating and positive. Meeting and connecting with different people is like looking in a mirror and seeing the million possibilities of who you could be, which direction you want to go, where you will end up. These encounters can also help remind you who you don’t want to be.  

Last month, I met two fascinating travelers who randomly found their way to my host-family’s place in Torti. A Frenchman named Irene who was in the area for a few weeks and a Mexican-American named Tahnia who stopped briefly in town before attempting to cross the Darien Gap. Free-spirits traveling with very small budgets, trying to get to Colombia and explore South America. I feel quite free most of the time here, but I really admire their energy, adventurousness, and absolute freedom. Such strong connections in such a random and small place and time. I wish them well on their individual quests and pray for their safety.

I hope you all are having amazing encounters and chats, and that you are finding glimpses of peace every day. Peace is never complete or constant, but becomes easier and more common with practice.
 
 
 
Paz y abrazos grandes

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Stillness is the Move... Se fue 2013, Dale vamos 2014

Sooo, it is 2014. January.  Wicked winter in Ohio, Summertime in Panamá. The last few months of 2013 rolled right on by.  November was filled with various magical adventures with Kristin and many celebrations for Panamanian and U.S. holidays alike. I spent two solid weeks rambling around the frozen Midwest for Christmas and New Year’s, spending time with loved ones and homies. So much good food and beer. Netflix. Blankets. Corduroys and Christmas sweaters. College Football. High School Hoops…Amurica was gooood.
And then I woke up in Panama. Many times during my trip home I felt that Panama had been a dream; it was so easy to slip comfortably back into the flow in the States (during the holidays at least). Definitely some strange transitions there.
Taking my first steps on U.S. soil, walking through the Atlanta airport in my cutarras on my feet and my chakara hanging at my side, a Qdoba burrito was the only thing in between me and my flight to Detroit, my family, many reunions of epic proportions, (epic portions too, I might add) of food craft beer… I asked the very friendly woman speaking English to me at the register who was holding my 5 pound silver brick of cheesy, heavenly goodness. “Err, do you guys accept cards?” I asked, confused. They did. My debit card worked. Holy Toledo, I was heading home; to the frigid north and to the land of comfort.   I had a solid trip home, and was overwhelmed (in a great way) to walk into Nick and Jimmy’s, filled with many of the same familiar faces who saw me off 10 months prior. Time slowed as I felt the warmth and love, but it sped up as the reunions were crunched in, and I savored rich food and tasty brews in between ramblings about life in Panama and trying to check in with what everybody is up to. Family, cousins, and old friends all seem to be doing pretty well, with many exciting things happening in people’s lives. Tommy is hooping, Mols is starting a new chapter in grad school at EMU, and cousins and amigos are rambling about, working, getting engaged, settling, moving, searching…. Life seems good up there, and I was really feeling that reaffirmation about the uniqueness of how closely connected people are up in Toledo, OH. It is truly a special place.


 Coming back to the isthmus was definitely weird. Exhausted from traveling, rolling along the highway into the illuminated tropical urban sprawl of Panama City after midnight, the Pacific to my left, I tried to soak in the transition, the moment, the feeling. Reflect. Be grateful. Be present. It’s astonishing to go from shoveling snow in a winter wonderland to gazing at a dark ocean at night, with the warm salty breeze tending to my cracked lips and skin. Change and transitions always cause discomfort, sometimes doubt and confusion. That has since worn off, I affirmed that Panama is where I should be right now, and I am damn lucky to have the opportunity to be a volunteer in such a beautiful place.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
November/December Highlights

-Birthday Adventure to Kuna Yala with Kristin: We could probably write a book about this adventure. I spent my 24th birthday on Isla Diablo (Niadup) in the Caribbean with new friends, natives from Kuna Yala and visitors from Panama, Venezuela, Brazil, and California. I have never seen so many shades of blue, such clear water. We relished in magnificent lobster dinners, fresh seafood, snorkeling, the brightest stars and most brilliant moonI have ever seen. And the Kuna people were so kind, so tranquil, and super hilarious. They have their culture impressively intact, and while tourism and globalization no doubt are changing things, the Kuna seem to be retaining their traditional way of life. We stayed two extra nights in our tent on the island paradise, and were even taken to one of the main village islands to attend the Chicha Fuerte celebration one day, for when a young girl in the community begins menstruating. It was 5 days of intense drinking, praying, dancing, music, etc., and the people were so accepting and open Speaking of openness, the caretaker of the island, Yensi, is, well, she is a man. But she dresses in traditional Kuna clothing and seems to be considered and accepted as a woman. For a traditional culture, it seems that they are very progressive about some issues. On my 24th birthday, Yensi and the rest of the Kuna folks running the island somehow orchestrated the delivery of a cake from the city to this island. Such incredible thoughtfulness. Aaron, the son of the Archemedes, who owns the island, told Kristin and me the night before my birthday, “Tomorrow we are going to discover the universe!” That we did. So much natural beauty and good-natured human beings there. I can’t wait to go back to Kuna Yala.


-It was neat showing a special friend the reality of my day to day life in Torti. She saw the positives and negatives, the struggles and friendships. We went to some desfiles, did a lot of pasearing, and cooked lasagna, guacamole, and more for my host family.

We even got painted with jagua at the nearby Emberá community in Ipetí.




-Peace Corps Thanksgiving, Cerro Punta, Chiriqui: On the way out to the big yearly PC thanksgiving bash in the mountains of Chiriquí, we stopped in Boquete, a beautiful town up in the highlands where a lot of ex-pats have taken refuge with their farms, restaurants, small businesses, and jungle fortresses. Super fresco, amazing views, delicious coffee—it is truly a magnificent mountain town, and so different from the hot and humid jungle lowlands that I am used to. We took off up into the mountains after midnight to climb to the peak of Volcán Barú, which sits at 10,000 feet. After about 3.5 hours, exhausted and shaking from the cold, we reached the summit, and were able to see a spectacular sunrise and a brief glimpse of both the pacific and Atlantic oceans before the clouds rushed in, hanging below, separating us from the rest of the Earth. Unbelievable.



Thanksgiving was just as amazing. About 200 volunteers escaped their communities to come together to eat, drink, and be merry for a few days up in the mountain lodge resort, Los Quetzales. The food was bomb, the mood was way high, and we laughed and danced and gave thanks and appreciation for each other and our incredible fortune for the time and place we are sharing here in Panama.


I was so blessed to have Kiks come down, see my life down here and how I have adjusted, and share in some adventures together. Before she left, we randomly followed up on an opportunity to be casted as extras in the film, Hands of Stone, which stars Robert DeNiro and Usher and tells the story of the Panamanian lightweight world champion boxer, Roberto Duran. We were dressed up in 70s digs and sat around the boxing ring in an arena all day and into the night to film a couple of brief scenes from a fight that is supposed to be taking place at Madison Square Garden. It was pretty cool seeing Deniro act about 15 feet away from me, but it was such a long day for such a small amount of film. What a tedious business. Guess showbiz isn’t for me. Oh, and I almost forgot, we even participated in a World AIDS day flash mob in various places in Panamá City, super cool! So many amazing experiences to be had in this little country. Panamá would love to have Miss Eberts return, I am sure of it.


Then, I finally made it stateside for a lovely couple weeks of beautiful overindulgence of family, friends, and food.


Some favorites:
1.       The people. So great catching up with loved ones. Although there were a lot of rushed reunions, I was able to catch up with my lovely cousins and old friends, check in, share stories, tip a few back, and go our separate ways, kicking ass and rocking out the 20s of our lives.
2.       Ok, cold sucks, but winter has its wins. The snow was cool in an aesthetically-pleasing way, but old man winter is a grumpy bastard, especially this year. Getting thrown into the icy Midwest after living in jungle heat for 10 months was a bit rough. THAT SAID, the first annual Scott family Clark Lake Christmas was pretty amazing, with the frozen lake and now-covered trees. Christmas ales just wouldn’t be satisfying in 90 degree weather. I was pumped to rock corduroys nonstop for 2 weeks, and I had the pleasure of donning a Christmas cardigan alongside my old pals who also toted their finest Yuletide sweaters, and cruise around Toledo/BG in a school bus singing, dancing, and drinking peppermint schnapps. Finally, curling up next to a pretty lady and having Breaking Bad Netflix benders with the fam and Bo was very special. Wine, too many craft brews, crab cakes, steak, chicken wings, bar food bar food bar food, etc. = all super great things. Driving back from Chicago in blizzard conditions, not so cool. Thankfully, I had a good co-pilot.
3.       Good Music. Good Music. Jamming and sharing tunes with friends and fam was a refreshing break from the típico/bachata/reggaeton binging I am constantly forced to take in. I celebrated NYE with Kristin, Jarret Kling, and his lady Megan by rocking with Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears in Chicago. Funky blues grooves and horns that could blow out knees—‘twas a spectacular show. 
4.       Sports, bars, and sports bars.  Watching football and hoops with the old man and his normal crew at the local Ralphie’s and elsewhere was definitely a treat (see: chicken wings). I even was able to play ball with the guys at St. James. The best part was seeing little bro Tomás play a couple great games with the CCHS Irish. Dude is actually pretty big. He should not feel too proud about his size in comparison to me though, as I sweat 5 liters every day and sustain myself with rice, beans, and oatmeal. They have a tough squad and it is so awesome to see the little brother starting varsity basketball. He’s living the dream and I am proud. I even was able to listen to the local radio broadcast the other week when they played SJ and lost a tough one in OT.
Ringing in the New Year at home was a perfect end to a magical year, and all I can do is express my appreciation for the good fortune and blessings I have in this life. In Panama, I have a home, a family of Peace Corps volunteers who really do exemplify the best things about the United States of America, and connections with numerous Panamanians families who are so generous, giving and peaceful. More so, the reason I have such an awesome opportunity to do this is because of my amazing family, friends, education, and experiences that led me here. Perhaps the most important thing I have learned/reaffirmed this year is that family, friends, and the environment we come from is so crucial for success. Living in Panama has shown me that, although culture is subjective, beautiful, and powerful, the vast majority humans have similar needs and priorities, such as family, friendship, love, support, freedom, and happiness. By sharing in these sentiments/values, we can connect with others and find common ground with people seemingly different then us. With those who do not have such fortune, I believe it is the duty of every one of us who comes from such loving families and communities, to reach out with empathy and connect with people of different cultures, classes, and races.  These individual acts can cause immeasurable positive change down the line, one relationship at a time.


Summer rhythms, staying busy, ramblin’…

Summer time in Panamá is wonderful. There is a nice breeze most days, the already relaxed pace slows a little bit, kids are out and about, lazy days hanging at the río is a standard activity—life is good here. That said, my summer is already flowin’ on by. I have already completed one GAD youth development camp last week in the Azuero. I have another GAD camp in Darien in February and then I will travel across the country to help facilitate an Ultimate Frisbee camp in Chiriquí. Mix a couple weeks of English seminars in there and there goes my summer! This is totally fine though; it’s good to be on the move. I definitely feel more in my element when I am traveling. That said, I definitely am going to soak up hammock and river time when I can. I also am looking forward to regional meeting this week, especially the next couple days, when a group of us will climb Chugantí, a mountain in the rainforest not too far from Tortí, and stay up at the summit in some cabins for a few days. School will be here before I know it. Carnavales are at the end of February, right after school starts. I am really excited for my first Carnaval, but before, I will be going on a 3 day jungle trek to the Caribbean coast, returning to Kuna Yala to celebrate the Kuna independence from Panamá on the island of Ustupu February 25. It’s all happening.

Can’t wait until we all cross paths again. Feliz Año Nuevo mis amores, make 2014 the best one yet. Abrazos, Dani

p.s. my host family got a toucan. his name is tuki tuki, and he is super rad.